Psychology
Let’s raise the boys right!
Gloria Steinem rightly said: “I’m glad that we are gradually raising our daughters the same way we raise our sons, but this will never work if we don’t start raising boys the same way we raise our daughters.” This “New York Times” article has a dozen useful, correct and path-breaking recommendations on how to raise your boys as feminists, away from stereotypes, and with a sense of empathy and equality. To prepare this article, expert opinions were sought from a number of psychologists, neurology and cognitive experts, educational experts, economists who study in the field of gender, etc.
The advice goes like this: Let your son cry, express his feelings, be scared. Know that he needs role models, and not just male role models, but female role models who admire him. Let him be himself and wear whatever he likes (you know, until the 1950s). By the way, pink was the color of boys and blue was the color of girls?) These “rules” are nothing but spontaneous agreements of the society, don’t give in to them.
Teach boys the need to take care of others (from grandparents to pets), teach them basic life skills such as cooking, cleaning the house, and laundry. Don’t forget that your actions are important, not your words. Yes, if at home the woman always cooks and the man does “men’s work”, whatever you say about equality is useless. Children need to see their father changing diapers and stirring the pot of food and their mother cutting the grass in the yard to understand that it is not a woman’s/man’s job.
Encourage your boys to be friends and play with girls. Teach them from the very childhood that “no means no”. These stereotypes of “the other boy” and dodging mere sexism are destructive. If they say that school girls are spoiled and dumb, react and teach them that this way of talking and judging is wrong. Never, absolutely, under any circumstances, do not use “girl” as an insult, belittling, judging and mocking. . Don’t say “Well, another girl” and that’s why, for example, he cried with a small wound. Never do that.
Read a lot of books for boys and read books where the protagonist is a woman or a girl. Statistics show more and more every day that boys around the world are much less literate than girls, they read much less books, contrary to the common stereotype, they are even worse in math, and one correct way to educate them is to constantly read good books to them. And last but not least, absolutely Don’t fall for it and don’t despise the good qualities that are synonymous with being a boy. Give him the space to enjoy the good things that are associated with being a boy: climbing trees, playing sports and watching sports, camping in the woods and lighting fires.
Believe me, it is very, very, very difficult to change beliefs, procedures and behavior in adulthood. Believe me, it is much, much, much easier to raise children and future generations to be right and equal and away from the flood of stereotypes. For your own sake and Do not give in to all these gendered stereotypes in raising your children. Leave the first brick straight, then this straight wall will go up to Soraya!
Farnaz Saifi
This post is written by b_1300