successful marriage
Satisfactory relationship
The secret to a satisfying and successful relationship
One of the most famous family psychologists, Professor Gutman, believes that the most important aspect of a successful relationship is to respect and pay attention to our spouse’s feelings. He says: “When your wife is upset and suffering, you should be ready to drop everything and take care of her feelings.” Therefore, if you want a sincere and stable relationship with your spouse or romantic partner, you must take the importance of feelings and expressing emotions seriously and be ready to take responsibility and pay attention to each other’s needs.
Practical suggestion:
Set aside an hour during the week for what Dr. Guttman calls a “state of union.” In this one hour, you and your spouse talk about your mental state and your daily interactions. If an hour seems too much at first, you can have shorter discussions together. Any time you spend on improving your relationship will pay off. In a state of unity, talk about your daily feelings with your spouse or romantic partner, but be careful if you criticize or blame him when you express your feelings, it will be very difficult for him to listen to you and be able to empathize with you. to do
Useful tips for expressing feelings:
When expressing your negative feelings, use sentences that start with “I,” not “you.” Instead of saying things like, “You used to always answer my texts and now you never do,” you could use something like, “I feel lonely when you don’t answer my texts,” and things will go a lot better.
When your spouse or partner is sad, tell them you care about how they feel.
When your spouse or partner expresses negative feelings, show that you have listened carefully to what he or she has to say. Instead of simply saying, “I’m sorry,” you can say, “I understand that you’re upset because. ». The second way shows much more empathy.
Incorrect ways of expressing feelings:
You express your feelings in a general and vague way, for example: “You never pay attention to me!”, “You don’t care about me!”.
You describe your spouse’s negative behavior as if it is part of his personality, for example: “You are selfish!”, “You are irresponsible!”
To describe your wife’s behavior, you attribute a series of negative and insulting characteristics to her, for example: “You are incompetent!”, “You are stupid!”.
You raise several complaints together, for example: “I hate your card, the way you dress, your family, etc. I’m sad!
You add old complaints to the current complaint to make it bigger, for example: “You were an irresponsible person from the beginning, remember you did such and such a thing during our marriage!”.
This post is written by Sara_b_h