perfectionism
Perfectionism syndrome
Do you need big successes in your life to feel good about yourself?
Do you feel useless when you have a goal and fail to achieve it?
Do you always think about being the best?
You can’t forget your mistakes and it becomes a permanent memory for you?
Are you very embarrassed when you make a mistake?
If your answer to all five questions above is positive, you may have a psychological problem like many people:
Perfectionism or extreme perfectionism. Such people face four basic problems in their work and life:
They have an avoidance behavior pattern: the most destructive consequence of extreme perfectionism is that we run away from responsibilities and situations that expose us to evaluation.
Constant fear: We always have too much fear of failing and ruining things, that’s why we are always in agony and at the same time, we start to do things very obsessively and late. At the same time, the fear of others’ criticism is always rooted in our lives.
Constant internal blame: We always blame ourselves for missed opportunities and mistakes.
One-dimensionality: If we are perfectionists, because we want to do our work with complete accuracy and precision and without any flaws, we are so busy with one aspect of our life that we miss other aspects. Consider a PhD who has achieved the highest practical degrees but is unable to develop a deep emotional connection with his wife.
We are all more or less prone to perfectionism. Therefore, we must master the ways to get rid of this anomaly. To curb and treat extreme perfectionism, these 5 approaches are recommended:
1. Do not consider your worth to be dependent on the full realization of your goals. Remind yourself that a person’s value is based on their character and the benefit they have for others, not the complete fulfillment of their goals.
2. Get used to progressivism (against perfectionism).
Due to having an ideal mentality, a perfectionist ignores the actions and small steps to reach his goals, and his idea is that he must take a big action to consider himself successful. Therefore, every night for a while, think about the good and positive things you have done during the day and repeat to yourself that no successful person has reached his goal overnight.
3. Turning the inner critic into a compassionate coach
Perfectionists have a powerful inner critic that controls all of their internal dialogue. He constantly points out and blames their mistakes and errors.
Every time your inner critic starts talking, say yes!
What is your solution? To become an inner coach.
4⃣ Sometimes do your work incompletely on purpose. To understand that if something is incomplete, the sky will not come to earth.
5. Turn stone rules into jelly rules.
For example, you have made a bet with yourself not to eat sweets again, if you do, instead of blaming yourself for three hours, walk for half an hour.