What should we do when there is a disagreement between husband and wife?
Stop the power struggle and don’t encourage this stupid belief that I have to show who is the man of this house! In fact, your masculinity in the middle of the dispute is not determined by your constant winning. The truth is that this issue can annoy those around you who always insist on being dominant. The daughter of such a house is usually a philanderer and goes after pushy grooms. By identifying with such a father, the son of this house will carry a sinister legacy into his personal life. What is the right way? Admit it, you may be right, but family conflicts are not the headquarters of the police or the family court, where you want to harm your side by intelligently lining up legal evidence. Many times, victory in these conversations leads to a bigger failure elsewhere in this life. People, even if their intelligence is less than you or their achievements are less than you doctor, engineer, tower builder, reporter, sometimes they want to win the debates. Give this opportunity to your wife from your mind and don’t let your intelligence turn you into a lonely isolated island in your middle age!
It’s not bad to sit in the other person’s place and look at the issue from his ASPECT angle! In this way, even if you don’t agree with the other party’s words, at least you understand it, and many times your husband or wife tries to be understood and opposed until they are neither understood nor agree!
The best fights between husband and wife are the ones where the parties know when to back off, not the ones that are constantly thinking about moving forward. When you argue with your husband, give points in time. It doesn’t go far (I don’t mean in negotiations with some wives of Iblis who don’t have the power to understand and distinguish your tact)
Please don’t be tempted to pull out the old files, experience has shown that this will only make your rope tighter.
During the discussion, avoid three deadly things: playing advice, putting God’s feet and opinions in the middle to overcome the other side, cursing and moaning, and threats.
The best way to enter into a fight that a man understands is to give a complete message, which is:
Go straight to the main topic
(I know that you have traded a house and I heard about it from your brother)
Tell me how you feel
(I thought I was very strange to you that you did not share such an important decision with me or at least you did not inform me)
Make an offer
(next time let me be the first one to be happy or if I need to have special manners to keep your secret, please tell me to check it)
You have been discussing a topic for a few days, if you don’t make a change, it seems like you have wasted your time and nerves. Please start the change from yourself and if he changes too, tell him very softly and even jokingly that I see something happening, people want their changes to be approved.
Never become a game psychologist. Because you have read two articles or read a text related to your life issues or have passed a few communication skills courses, you are not allowed to make wise looks and feel sorry for your partner’s lack of understanding. Knowledge is not meant to turn you into monsters full of gibberish. Just act on your knowledge and strictly avoid using psychological literature in your home. Listen to my experience as a therapist and teacher of depth psychology concepts: I do not bring a word of these words into my home and life, and I prefer to keep my office separate from my home. Until I speak.
#Dr. Shiri
This post is written by Sara_b_h