Why do I have low self-esteem?
1. Many methods and books have been written to increase self-esteem (or mistakenly, self-confidence), and most of us have seen the temporary effect of these books, which almost disappears after a few weeks.
2. Self-esteem in simple language means how much we love ourselves and how valuable and lovable we are as a human being, the main roots of healthy self-esteem go back to infancy and childhood, how much we had a relatively healthy mother who had a good relationship with He has established us and fulfilled our basic needs and in general love and prosperity have overcome hatred and failure
3. The more our parents have a sufficiently good and healthy relationship with us, the better our self-esteem will be. After a while, we internalize the image of those parents because we need to be loved and this part is responsible for loving and moderating anger and There are so-called moral affairs or dos and don’ts
4. This part called super ego is like a law book and we regulate our actions in life with this image. We are blamed and reprimanded by this part for many failures and not getting the satisfaction of Abraman, and when we fail, we may repeat sentences like “dirt on your head, unsatisfied, stupid” and finally feel lethargic and depressed (not depressed). was
5. The stricter the superego is, the more perfectionist we are and we are constantly dissatisfied with ourselves, and this is precisely why, after successes, we feel a sense of satisfaction from satisfying someone (mostly our inner parents or the self).
6. Sometimes we think that we are few people, that we are not worthy enough and when we go somewhere, we imagine that others look at us with contempt (actually, I am not a worthy child in my eyes and I attribute it to others, i.e. I project) and then I fear or get angry with others, while at first others don’t have much to do with us, but if I behave in such a way with the idea of being small (like cursing myself in public) that I provoke others to behave with me And I invite you to see me as a little person in their eyes
7. That is, it is a vicious cycle that starts from within us and we multiply outside like a virus, then we avoid people and run away from them, and naturally they don’t feel good about us either. From the fear of failure and then blaming Uberman. We prefer to waste our time with procrastination and unnecessary tasks instead of entering the competition field (for fear of failure and possible blame from the superman), and we find much less flourishing than our talents, and a kind of dissatisfaction and constant anxiety accompanies us.
8. The next damage is that for fear of losing the limited love of those around us, we are willing to sacrifice ourselves, make ourselves small, allow ourselves to be abused, so that perhaps this love and loving within us is not threatened, while by doing this only others We expect it, and strangely, we always ask why others misbehave with me??
This post is written by RM_1397