Why doesn’t your child listen to you?
Many parents complain that their children do not listen to them. Why don’t they listen to you? In this article, we want to teach you how you can get rid of this suffering and make your young child hear and listen to you.
1- Stop the conversation
Maybe this sentence is too expensive for you, but you should know that the amount of talk we parents have with our children is very high. An American researcher and psychologist counted the number of instructional and corrective sentences of parents addressed to their children during the day and night (sentences such as hang up your clothes, clean your plate). The number of these sentences was about 200 sentences.
How many of these sentences are really needed? With a careful scientific investigation, we can say only about 25%. In fact, only 50 instructional sentences in a day are attractive and listenable to children. Of course, this is not a bad news, provided that you know these 50 sentences and try not to use more than that.
2- Let the natural results unfold
As we said, talk less and do more. It doesn’t matter if your child doesn’t clean his room, let him face the natural consequence of having a dirty and smelly room. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t collect his Legos and toys, put them in a box and take them out of his room and don’t give them to him for a certain period of time.
3- Active listening model
Children learn more through observation, so give them permission and opportunity to face role models, for this reason, parents should also be role models of a good listener, but unfortunately, many parents are not good listeners.
They hear what others are saying, but this is while they have tuned one ear to what is being said and their other ear to something else, and their heads are probably on the sky or the earth.
Active listening is more than the mechanical listening of the ears. In this model, the whole body is at work. In active listening, we need to hear more than the words and be able to find out the meaning of the sentences and respond to it.
4- Love, love, love
Sometimes children don’t listen to us to give us a message. By not listening to us, they tell us one thing: “You can’t fix me and I’m tired of bossing you around.”
You have to put a deposit in the love bank, so now is a good time to hug them.
5- Whispering
If you have tried all the ways above and your children still do not listen to you, try this solution. Children always end up being yelled at. Lowering the volume to a whisper is exactly the opposite of what they expect, and it will lead to an interesting new outcome for you.
On the other hand, when you speak in a low voice, children are forced to come closer to you to pay close attention to what you are saying. What’s better than this? Don’t we want our child to be closer to us?